Protocol Automotive

Winter Emergency Kit

The Hateful Mechanic — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 12:29:25 +0000

Face it, people; winter is on its way. It’s going to get cold, it’s going to snow, there’s going to be ice and snow drifts on the road, and some of you are going to get stuck in it. Or break down in it. Or slide into another car on it. Whichever it is, you end up on the side of the road, waiting for me to come get your ass out.

Let me suggest that you save yourself some pain later on and put together a winter stuck-on-the-side-of-the-road kit now. You’ll thank me someday.

Put in your kit:

10-15 pound bag of kitty litter, which can provide traction when stuck in ice or snow; enough kitty litter stored in the trunk can also provide additional weight in the back of the car.
A small (folding) shovel for digging out of snow drifts.
A couple of bottles of water and non-perishable food such as jerky or granola bars.
A blanket and/or spare cold-weather clothes.
A couple of trash bags to wear over your feet and lower legs should you have to make an unexpected hike through snow or slush.
Road flares
A flashlight, preferably with longer-lasting LED lights
Jumper cables

If your balls are big enough, you can also carry a chainsaw and some gas with you in case you come up on a tree in the road. Cutting it up clears the roadway and gets you a little extra firewood.

And, of course, I’m assuming you already have a First Aid kit and rope in your vehicle. You do, right? Just nod your head yes.

IDing the Noises in Your Vehicle

The Hateful Mechanic — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 16:29:10 +0000

Let me sum it up for those of you with short attention spans: get noises in your vehicle checked out. It could be nothing but it could be something very, very bad that’s better caught early.

For those of you who have several paragraphs worth of attention span, here’s some more:

Noises that arise when going over bumps, turning or backing up could be nothing or they could be suspension or brake issues.
If the brakes squeal when in use, it could be the sound of poorly manufactured brake pads or simply of friction, but it could also be failing brake pads. Note that some, but not all, brake pads are made to chirp as they near their bitter end. Attempting to extend the life of the brake pad too long, though, can lead to more extensive brake damage that requires more expensive repairs.
Whining when driving down the road or a roar that changes pitch in curves could indicate wheel bearing problems or a problem passenger.
Squeals could indicate belt problems or deeper issues involving belt-driven accessories.
Finally, a noise like someone beating on the engine with a hammer could indicate a variety of concerning issues. Things could be bad. Very bad.

Be one with your vehicle, and your vehicle will lead the way.

ID the Fluid

The Hateful Mechanic — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:42:08 +0000

So you pull out of a parking space or your driveway, and there’s a puddle of the vehicular variety. Do you run crying to my shop or do you keep heading toward that deuce-deuce at the Xpress Market? Here’s your guide:

Color	Fluid	What to Do
Black and slimy	Engine oil	Get to the shop
Red	Could be antifreeze, could be transmission fluid	Get to the shop
Green, red, yellow, purple	Any of these could be antifreeze or coolant	Clean it up then get to the shop – pets love to eat that shit and just a little bit will kill ‘em dead
Clear	Seriously. It’s water. It’s what your AC does.	The 22 is all yours

But wait! There’s more!

IF you don’t see a water puddle from your AC and your floorboard is oddly damp, it’s likely that your condensate drain is fucked. Get to the shop.

IF you’re seeing smoke under the hood when you stop or smell something burning (other than the obvious, damned Floyd hippies), it’s likely oil or other fluids dripping onto the exhaust manifold and burning off, which could lead to an engine fire. Get to the shop.

IF you have other fluid issues in your vehicle, that’s between you and your old lady and you can just stay the hell off my property because I don’t want to hear it.

Giveaway, Protocol Style

admin — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 12:12:06 +0000

Alright, folks, here’s the deal. We’re going to be doing a drawing every Friday in the run-up to our customer appreciation event on October 30th.

The prizes? Floydopolies, Protocol tees and FREE oil changes!

To enter, all you have to do is post comments on this here blog or on our Facebook page to get entries, which will be allotted like so:

1 Entry for:
- Blog comments
- Comments on our Facebook page
2 Entries for:
- Posting a recommendation on our Facebook page
- Posting on your own wall and tagging our page
3 Entries for:
- Posting a picture of the vehicle Protocol works on with a caption that describes some of the work done (don’t forget to tag us or we won’t see it!)

We’ll gather names, drop ‘em on a spreadsheet and, on Fridays, use a random number generator to pick our winners!

Fix It or Sell It: The Formula

The Hateful Mechanic — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 14:19:33 +0000

Vehicles have moving parts. Moving parts break. It’s just how it works.

Still, I get it – when an estimate for a few grand comes in, you have to wonder if you should fix it or sell it. Deciding is actually easier than you might think.

Here’s what you do:

Talk to your mechanic or surf the interwebs or call your daddy or do whatever it is you do to get info on your vehicle. I’d stick with the talking to your mechanic option. If you trust them enough to work on your vehicle, you should be able to trust them enough to give you straight info. (If you don’t, you should find a new mechanic.)

Ask them how much life the repair could, theoretically, add to the life of your car; convert that number into months if it isn’t in months already.

Divide the price of the repair by the number of months and hey presto, you’ve got a number you can compare to a car payment!

Too fast? Let’s try it this way.

Busted transmission = $3,000 to fix and will add 3 years or 36 months to the life of your car. (I’m not really talking about your car – it’s just an example, people.)

3,000/36 = 83 or $83 a month to continue using your car.

If you can find a car to buy for less than $83 a month, go for it. And then let me know because the leprechaun with his pot of gold can’t be far away.

Okay, so you weren’t going to buy a new car or even a fancy used car, but a car you found on someone’s lawn with a for sale sign on it, something you could buy outright, especially if you got a few hundred from your old piece of shit with the busted transmission.

Before you do, ask yourself this: why are they getting rid of their vehicle? Is it because it, too, is a piece of shit with a big repair bill in its near future? Is it worthwhile to trade your known piece of shit for an unknown one?

’95 Silverado: Murdered Out

The Hateful Mechanic — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 19:01:55 +0000

Murdered out: painting a vehicle with flat black paint. Often includes black rims, deeply tinted windows and lights, and a really, really bad attitude.

This 1995 Chevy Silverado came to us rusted, wrecked and with a ton of body damage, a real p.o.s. on wheels.

The clear coat was peeling and the cab corners were rusted through.

So what did we do?

We stripped the truck to bare metal, prepped it for paint and murdered that shit out.

End result: a worthwhile investment for a client who put a good bit of money in but will get even more out in resale value.

Automotive lemonade, people. That’s what this is.

End of Season Maintenance for Mowers and RVs

The Hateful Mechanic — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 17:28:58 +0000

When you can be outside in the middle of the day for more than five minutes without sweating your balls off, you know fall is right around the corner in Floyd. That means parking the RVs and campers, getting the last mow of the season in and getting your firewood ready.

I really don’t care about your firewood (unless you’re looking for some – we have a few cords for sale here at the shop. Give us a call or stop by if you’re interested).

Your engines, on the other hand – that’s something to talk about.

Every spring, I get someone in the shop all sad in the pants because a line on their RV burst due to liquid being in it when the temperatures dropped below freezing. Either they didn’t winterize at all or they didn’t think about it until after the first freeze when it was already too late.

It’s really pretty simple, people. Let me break it down for you in a bullet list to make it nice and easy to follow.

RVs and campers:

Winterize as soon as your last trip is over. That might be now.
Flush the lines.
Add antifreeze.
Fill the tank completely, including a double-dose of fuel stabilizer.
Park, find your big wooly socks, and wait for spring.

Mowers and other lawn equipment:

Winterize as soon as your last mow of the season is done. We’re not quite there yet but it’s coming soon. Really, really soon.
Clean as much grass from the deck as possible either by scraping or, if you’ve got the goods, by steam cleaning.
Squirt WD-40 on all exposed shafts that spin.
Advanced maneuver: remove the spark plugs and give the cylinders a good squirt of WD-40, too.
Fill the tanks completely, including a double-dose of fuel stabilizer.
Store them and take a minute to look at your grass. Depending on how this winter goes, you may not be seeing for a while starting sooner than you think.

Fuel stabilizers are available right here in Floyd at both Carquest and NAPA.

Braking or Downshifting for Cost Savings

The Hateful Mechanic — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 20:17:17 +0000

A customer who moved to Floyd from the flatlands brought her car in for new brakes and asked why she was going through brakes so fast. I reminded her that she lives in the mountains now.

Brakes go fast in the mountains. That’s just how it is.

If this was the beach, she would have asked why the underside of her never-washed car was rusting and I’d reminder her that she lives next to an enormous pond of saltwater now. That’s just how it is.

Sometimes, people ask me about downshifting instead of braking – using the engine to slow the vehicle down and save on brake wear which would cut down on brake repair bills. People who drive stickshifts – drive stickshifts well, that is – know how to downshift properly because they know how their engines sound and work and they understand the importance of babying the transmission and engine.

People who drive and have always driven automatics know how to turn the big wheel. They’re seat warmers. The only time they’ve noticed the sound of their engine was when something went very, very wrong.

These are the people who, when driving down Bent Mountain, slam their automatic transmission into low gear and keep their engines revving in the red the whole trip. That also makes them the people who then have a bill from a repair shop for a few grand because that’s what it costs to repair an engine that’s been over-revved.

You can do that once, or you can get new brakes about 10 times, depending on the repair shop and vehicle. Either way, you’re spending about the same amount of money.

The moral of this story is: forget about downshifting. Your brakes were put there for the specific purpose of slowing your vehicle down.

Fuel Additive Recommendations

admin — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 20:41:21 +0000

People have been asking about fuel stabilizers since I suggested using one in my article about ethanol fuels that ran in the Floyd Press a month or so ago.

I don’t have experience with every brand, but the ones I have had good results with are STA-BIL and Lucas fuel stabilizers.

Your best bet is going to be to just read the directions on the packaging and follow them, but I’d use a stabilizer every time I refueled a vehicle that isn’t driven much. If your car, truck, mower or farm equipment is going to sit for a week or more without being driven, use the stabilizer.

5 Steps to Checking Your Motor Oil

The Hateful Mechanic — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 19:58:04 +0000

If you’ve ever run your engine dry of oil, you know the pain of those repair expenses. If you haven’t, you don’t want to. I promise. It’s not one of those experiences you have to have.

Motor oil is lube. Please tell me I don’t have to explain the importance of lube for cutting friction and leading to a longer, more pleasurable riding experience to you people. You’re adults, right?

How you lube your own dipstick is up to you, but here’s the rundown on checking your vehicle’s:

Park somewhere level. Go to the gas station, down to the road, wherever you have to go to find a level place to park. And don’t wait until your engine is heated from hours on the road. It doesn’t feel good to stick your hand into a block of hot metal.
Pull out your dipstick (the one in your engine) and wipe it off with a paper towel or something you don’t care about being stained for life.
Insert the dipstick back in its tube. All the way.
Pull it back out and give it a good look to see where the oil reaches. Your dipstick will have an indicator on it – Min/Max, L/H or crosshatching – to let you know where the oil SHOULD land.
If the oil is below the minimum mark, you’ll need to add oil. If that happens frequently, you’ll need to get someone to look at your vehicle because you’re losing oil and that’s bad. Potentially very bad.

Oh, and one final note. Make sure your hood is closed before you drive off. All the way, people.